Gift Registry for New Mothers
A New Mothers Gift Registry
What do you think of when you think of gift registry? Crib, stroller, highchair, bouncer etc?
This isn’t that gift registry. I am a mother of 3 and a Doula and have seen firsthand the importance of a community of support. These are things we learn only after becoming a mother that we needed.
Our change table turns into a laundry folding space and our crib into the space for the laundry that needs to be folded. I polled Facebook land, my friends, and anyone who would listen to me ask them the question long enough to answer - Just what it was that they truly needed on their gift registry?
I want to share with you some of the answers I received, for the sake of privacy; I have made the answers generic.
The responses I received from mothers and friends in Facebook land has been amazing, and I am truly grateful and thankful for their honest answers, some funny, some very serious, some laughed away like it was impossible to achieve or selfish to ask for.
I often found myself saying that it’s not silly, or not impossible. These are/were very real needs of a new mother as we often forget to take care of ourselves and support is key!
“Make my food! When I had my second I wanted to stay at the hospital for one night, just so I didn’t have to think about cooking.”
“I would love a big truck of one handed snacks.”
“Watch babe so I can take a shower once every 3 days”
“Just talk to me – don’t give me advice, just talk to me like I’m normal. My favourite visit from a friend – she brought me cookies, her fav lotion for baby and a big hug.”
“Read at least one modern book on breastfeeding by an actual expert before you offer me advice.”
“Breastfeeding basket: lactation cookies, fenugreek, milk thistle, Guinness (good for stress too! Lol) breasts pads, lanolin, nipple shields.”
“Come over and tell me I’m doing a great job and that a dirty house and dirty dishes aren’t important. Reassure me when I’m in the throes of an emotional rollercoaster.”
Here’s the Full List: A New Mother’s Gift Registry
A hot meal
A frozen meal that I can easily heat up
Hold my baby so I can eat my hot meal, and today
Make or bring me one handed snacks
Just bring me a TRUCK full of snacks park it beside me, leave the truck!
Hold my baby so I can have an undisturbed nap
Hold my baby, so I can take a shower for longer than 30 seconds
Wash my laundry
Fold my laundry
I don’t ever want to see my laundry again! The crib has wheels, just take it away!
Do my dishes
Load my dishwasher
Put away my dishes
I don’t ever want to see those dishes again, put them in the crib with my laundry and take those too, and bring me disposables
Take me out for coffee
Hold my baby so I can take myself out for coffee
bring coffee too me
Cooooooffffffeeeeeeeeeeeee, must have caffeine - hook it to my veins.
Make me a cup of tea
Hold my baby so I can buy my groceries
Bring my groceries to me.
I’m a breastfeeding mom, bring me: lactation cookies, fenugreek, milk thistle, Guinness, breasts pads, lanolin, nipple shields. I’ll feed my baby, you can __________________________ (fill in blank)
Breastfeeding?!? Ha bring me bottles and formula, and then feed my baby so I can sleep.
Entertain me with adult conversation
Hold my child while I pee, ALONE
Hold my baby while I pretend to pee alone. Really just having a quick nap in the tub.
Entertain my other children, so I can get to know my new baby
Hold the baby, so I can get to know my other children, I almost forgot I had those.
Take my kids outside
Send me your older children, so they can take my kids outside (mommy helpers)
Housekeeper, you do it for me, or pay someone to do it for me, I’m too tired.
Walk with me, so if baby needs to be held or snuggled, I won’t have to push the stroller.
Take me for a walk; I could use conversation that is not about poo.
Walk my dog
Walk my husband
Drive me to appointments
Drop off and pick up my older children to activities and school. Leaving the house is impossible.
Give me a pedicure
Take me for a pedicure
Bring a spa day to me
Bring me to the spa
Bring me a bottle of wine or two….. Make it Vodka
Show up with love and a hug
Don’t judge me, my mess or the chaos. Tell me I am awesome, amazing, wonderful, spectacular, and that I rock.
Talk to me, don’t give me advice, don’t tell me what baby Jonny is doing, have a real conversation about real things, like I am me only 10 months ago.
Listen to me, and I mean really listen to me hear me out, let me vent, let me cry and let me tell you what was so funny on bubble guppies.
24 hour listening, if I need you at 3am because I am melting down, please be there for me. Let me call you and cry. I really need it!
Come hold and cuddle my baby and I will be happy to bring you a cup of tea and entertain you. baby is colic
Don’t give me advice, unless you meet this criteria
o You have more than one child
o You actually read a book on the subject
o You took a class at your local university
o Have a PHD
o And even then, I may not listen. It’s not personal
Hire me a postpartum doula if this list is just too much for you, she will do it!
As satirical and fun as it is, I really mean for you to ask for these things. These are the things we really need, these are the things that support us, just leave the crib, laundry, and the dishes.
I was half serious about their removal. In society there is this misshapen idea that woman should be able to take on and handle all the emotional, physical and psychological demands of motherhood. We should be able to do it all, and do it all alone. Motherhood should be a community of love and support, family, friends and neighbours coming together and celebrating new life with love, encouragement and support.
Doing it alone we can burn out, neglect ourselves, neglect our baby, or other children just trying to get it all done in one day. My grandmother once told me that fruit spoils, children don’t. Cobwebs will remain in the corner, while your baby won’t remain young. This list is intended to make you laugh, but at the same time make you think about what it is you really need. This list came from mothers just like you, first time, second time and third time mothers; it’s a compilation of all the things we thought of, often after in hindsight.
Know someone who is expecting for the first time? Share this list with them; tell them to add it to their baby registry. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Did I forget anything? Please leave me a comment and I will be sure to add it!